A SMASH OF FLESH AND BLOOD

1. WHERE THE BUD CRACKS BLOOD FLOWS
2. PLATFORM FLASHBACKS
3. ACROSS THE WATER
4. THE THINGS THAT ONLY GLOW IN THE DARK
5. LIKE YESTERDAY
6. DID YOU COME HERE ALL BY YOURSELF?
7. SHATTERED REFLECTIONS
8. I SHALL SEARCH THROUGH DEEPER GROUNDS
9. PLEASE FUCK OFF
10. CHAPEL OF SCIENCE
11. TIES

1. Where The Bud Cracks, Blood Flows

The fog arrives
upon a collision of ecchoes, heart to heart
"We will never again
be apart"

All the while, a vile monkey
hammers on his stones
collecting bones
of feelings dead and gone

The fog arrives you are fast asleep
but one of these nights
those stones will ignite
And the monkey will surpass you
and your inventions to admire
with the mere discovery of fire

*

The alarm goes off
but you need a bell
You need the stop
to go to hell

Sun shines through a glass with
melting honey around hovering
grains of tea
a beauty none of which
are apparent in fluids
spread across the dirty sink

You slept during the quake
you should have died long ago
but as the Ice Age melted away
surely, ghosts too must someday.....
as though banished
vanish

*

Oh, the pain
where did your lungs go, my friend?
is that your heart or an exploding train?

The cargo: unlimited amounts of love

Market value: None

*

Be that angry fucker
when the bell rings
Just don't fall asleep

Be the wolf
that does dirty deeds
Just don't be the sheep

Take them home
throw them out
Hold your tounge
Feel free to shout

Also;
Get drunk, do drugs
Why not?

*

Hide away the stars of yours
and throw them in the face of everybody

The reason of madness
is the only ally in war




Also;
If you by chance happen to pass the wreck
there might be one or two interesting things there to pick up

Beyond memorabilia
and junkyard stuff,
some of that junk still works

2. Platform Flashbacks

Trains intact rush by me
I wonder to myself
Yesterdays news, still bothering me
No sleep last night
No sleep the next night

Like a hold-up
a knife against the throat of life
Making this everyday grey concrete platform
rumble
Every strangers morning face
bares a trace of this what you would call my
situation

"A situation of shit"
is the line I'd tell you
Behind the walls of my skull though
small creatures jump around
laughing in shadows that came from nowhere

I hold a paper cup against my lips
a winter's chill across my face
a taste of coffee a taste of nothing but hot
while I mumble fuck it, for it is all I have to say

One touch, one word
anything from anyone
and I'll explode right here and now

Nothing happens though
it's all very quiet
Clouds across a blue sky
Crows hopping on crunching concrete
Men and women in coats
Children talking
A buzz from the city afar
I take a
breath

Somewhere
there is a knife by the throat of life
will the Situation Man slice the flesh
and kill me off
or will he simply not

My train arrives
these were the things in my mind
this morning,
deceptively casual

3. Across the Water

Tonight I stand
looking across the water
for there is where she lives
yes for no other reason
I am her handsome stalker
though I cannot see a thing

Once these hands they held a heart
pounding for the palms and fingertips
but it slipped and to the ground it fell apart
for my eyes happened to catch a glimpse

of something else
something came flashing by
vanished without a trace
my eyes kept looking and
the heart slipped

Call it if you will
an explanation
there will never be an excuse
To take heat and make it chill
I can think of no greater abuse

I know the price of restless yearning
and the pain of ties that bind
I know the dangers, close and burning
and all the waste they leave behind

Tonight I stand
looking across the water
for there is where she lives
I don't dream of her
and I don't pretend she's here
I don't think of anything

Tonght I stand
looking across the water
for through the abyss she will climb
For she asked me for fire
and I said that's just a lighter
we just shared a smoke
and we both smiled

4. The Things That Only Glow in the Dark

Oh it's one of those nights
all lay silent but
the shadowlands rumble

all the things you've hidden so well
emerge into a fog
carving out the shadow of an old friend

standing in the mirror, staring back
a friend of yours, so close
the silence is the attack
and the memory of those
you've left behind
"i'm sorry, i was blind"

Oh the night time show
it's out of control
and a memory of daylight

reminds you of control
the madness and the power to say no
yes, you can always seize the day
but in the night time play, there is a role

you are to swim
with every silent shark
in a pool of things
that can only glow in the dark

5. Like Yesterday

Do you ever think of the guy
that broke your heart?
He was all blonde and fancy
drove a big sports car

And did you ever really feel me
When I held you close, just to
feel free

Look how time it flies
clouds across the skies
who knows where the truth lies

You were happy to be my
closer friend
And I thought I'd love you
until life's end

Last night I saw you in a magazine
you spoke of people you still
carry within

You didn't mention me
But I suppose I shouldn't be
feeling misery
I read your diary
Back when you were all for free
Handed on to me
By yourself and every single need
in everything you see

We came to an end
My dearest schoolyard friend

And now you don't remember me
Your flower and my bee
No, not a single line
And now I don't remember you
It seems all I can see
is when you tried to look cool
just as cool as you could be
with your eyes deep into mine

And when I think of
how your hair fell in the way
it still feels like yesterday

6. Did You Come Here All By Yourself?

You said you would stay home every weekend
because your mother always told you to
You said you would never trust any words of love
because you always thought your father would beat you
You said you'd never cheat or steal or lie
because you were frightened of the bars of your very cradle
You said you'd never win or loose or cry
because you were tought to stay out of anything remotely fatal

I said I'm not sure what I'll be doing this saturday
because I've got no plans and well, I'm just not sure
I said I've kissed one or two girls on Valentine's Day
but I've never seen lips like yours before
I said don't think I'm saying it because of any secret plan
because I've seen enough in life to be honest
I just had to let you know, and be sure it's really your call
and just maybe you would like a word of fondness

So when I heard the silent sound of gravel at my window
and when I saw you standing by my street, below my balcony
I had to laugh a bit because I wasn't really sure
that you've actually come here tonight to see me
I'm sorry, didn't mean to be rude
and sure enough you're welcome, make yourself at home
And not that you're feet aren't working, they're okay I presume
but did you really get here all on your own?

With a glass of wine, strolling around my bookshelf
I wonder, did you really come here all by yourself?

7. Shattered Reflections

As a child
I often thought
any life worth living is a dream
within this world of mine

Fantasy, thy Kingdom in Bloom
along the Gloom of Reality
along came the wind of seldom felt serenity
washed away any last traces of who I'd want to be
left the lonliness of a century
now, is this all I will ever be?

Love, a terminator,
a wrath of a God reigning inside of me
Upon the crack where dreams hit truth dead-eye
flipping the mirror
showing me stripped of any lie

Fuck you I love you!
You are my reason in life
You are my saviour from death
You are my freedom
I long for your chains
I love you, I want to die for you!
I hate you, I want to die
because of you.....

and please, my captain,
I am clearly developing
unapropriate signs of seasickness

This whirlpool
and endlessly circulating sphere
Is this all I will ever be?
Is it but all
it's over!
and over and over and over and over again

I'm mirrored in a love of glass
and upon every fixed piece the reflection
is less accurate
You saved my life
though I am barely alive

Man overboard
I think I'm going down in this
sea of tears, filled up when
the storm raged
upon the sun gone black
and me
disappearing from your heart
as if you clicked a lightswitch

Use your love and
lie to me tonight
Build me a cyborg in your flesh
send her here
designed to protect me

These waters carry animals
once you were diving with me
with the dolphins and the jealous mermaids

But if you cannot save me now
you will have to see me die
and face their wrath

So down we go
over and over and over and over

and as a child
I used to sail
across love's waters in wonderous ocean storms
Waterwounds
leak from my soul
And the face in the mirror is
not quite me
or is this all I will ever be?

8. I Shall Search Through Deeper Grounds

Look around all you see is grey grey grey grey grey grey pavements and the rooftops are falling down upon the skyline it seems like it will never come to a dream to be alive as long as you're not asleep and don't you know, I'm a part of it aswell as you are to be sure, grey grey grey grey heavy pressing down the core which is one hundred of a hundred filled with truth but then again piercing through the landscape of god and the creation is a vast spectre of colors all the way from black to white but the core is but the core and from afar it's just this grey grey grey grey beach of february melted snow and dead canaries a dream of sun and a dream of life and a dream of a life without the strife of living life, in a prozac driven landscape as far as souls are concerned and look at them they're throwing stones and no wonder the frustration is enormous screaming your lungs empty at a square by all the homeless bums the hunger is endless but the steeringhweel is armless it goes round and round and the ship will hit the iceberg any minute now and what about me, i can but frown i am not throwing any single rock though i see plainly through the glass windows i'm laughing life in it's face i'm a troll in the beard of marx see me tying together the shoelaces of lenin and i'm throwing this here pie in the face of bakunin oh i'm an anarchist to be sure - all this romance i've been throwing in a toilet of reality, this is my final contact ad since i found out the truth of myself if you please, i'd like to be, it's my only real interest and i don't give a shit for living if that is what you'd call it i'm going souling with my heart i'm going minding with my head and if you want a hand to caress your soul mine is clearly the best on the market but i guess you better stay away i'm bound to suck the life out of any modern human being in grey grey grey plain sight, i was sitting on a couch when i was something like eleven and staring at the kids they were dancing but the sofa was way more fascinating then the motherfucking dancefloor, enjoying a soda and one or two good songs and if for one damn reason something would take me out the dancefloor you'd better get it was for no other reason than to get a little luck, carnevour lusts and downright seduction i was an eleven year old velociraptor trying to cover up a t-rex but the girls eyes oh man i finally saw my own reflection there and within the crack of my existance and the rip of separation and the thrust of disintegration i did understand that i'm even closer to nothing than i could ever quite imagine and my market value is pretty god damn close to zero but i don't give a shit and i pity all of these people just can't decide if it's me or anybody who's the most rotten to the core and if you get a little hard then these lines are all i've got 'cause you see me on the street you'll see the human shape form of a lie of a lie of a lie of a lie in a grey grey grey grey grey grey day yeah a dead representation of something else that may not rescue anybody but it will strike upon the prozac world and live live live live finnaly live for once and if you wanna beat the shit out of me than go ahead i could die tomorrow or in an hour does it look like i fucking care, it's the only real thing the only actual forsurething and why not it's quite the satisfying idea my only real belief is my belief of a certain death and it's what we've all been looking for the freedom we have not find yet and i'm not even saying i'm alone in this quest i want death for everybody, see the world fucking explode and the sun burn through the ozon and put the world on fire because mother earth does deserve better let me see the unquestionable truth and the sweet hard judge of justice it would be my honor i'd stand straight with my back and my face turned to the skies and in flames i'd be devoured by a fire so proud to have been a human, a questionable entity a fool on two legs but fool as i am i'd be proud to be a part of a race deserving death

Or let me just
light a candle
silently burning, while
I've planted a bomb in my past

A new morning is recognisable
by a certain pain in your eyes
of a new kind of light

One day you will find
that all it will be said and done
You must slip out your skin
when you need to peel off truths old enough to be lies
and the dirt of your sins
When it's all been said and done
listen for new sounds
leading you elsewhere

Don't be afraid, you will always find them
when the time is right
And don't worry
they are always punctual

Break apart the hard ground
find the soil again
Your sea is wider
Your caves are deeper
Your sky is higher
Soon enough
your entire landscape
will appear new before your eyes

You don't know how it happened
You wonder when
But until the next end
it has begun again

9. Please Fuck Off

So I came across your lines the other day
I had to read with my see-thru glasses
really no other way

So yeesh, seems you're still around
Still taking a walk on the wild side
broken any new ground?

An angry hippie in a stoner's fog
Society's personal rugrat
and bad mannered dog

Yeah, a stoned chiuaua, pissing his poles
Just can't stop biting peoples pant sleeves
and digging his holes

Not that you're an idiot, in all your haste
oh, you're quite the clever one
but it's just a fucking waste

You've got your brains or what's left of them I suppose
and guts and whatnot, but what are you sniffing
are you getting close?

I would like to hear from you, just one single line
that's every bit of glory
but not a waste of time

I suppose you don't like me very much, that I'm just a part of the mess
Well, there's not a thing in the Universe
that could care any less

You bark and you bark and would you ever get enough
An angry hippie is just an angry hippie
Now please, fuck off

10. Chapel of Science

As if you would never fight a war
As if you would never find a cause
As if you could never praise the dawn
As if you should never seek a God
As if you've got the answer to it all

As if you would never fall for treason
as if you'd never hide from it
As if you'd never find a reason
and then die for it
As if mere survival is the meaning of life
As if the chance of a lifetime is built on strife
As if you wouldn't kneel, as if you can laugh it out
and take a piss on it if you please
as if this is your right

As if you aren't at the mercy of the vast unknown
As if you never thought of dying, and as if you were never born
As if there are no doors and no keys to be found
As if it matters if the Earth is flat or round
As if you are the masters of the Universe, a word you've named
as if your big bang blasted out a map and a frame

As if you shake your head and say "let's be adult"
As if they take their pride and spit you in the face
as if this is not your fault
As if anything you ever say or do could give any comfort or truth
As if everything ever written or sung, is but your chimney's black soot
As if knowledge isn't nothing but an Earthly vain
As if you find your soul in little works of the brain
As if no greater forces could frighten you, as if you just don't hear
any signs of wonder
and then build your life on fear

As if you would never end up doing what you never thought you'd do
As if you would never face a mirror and be forced to see the truth
As if you could map it all out and work it step by step
As if you could always be in control, and keep your thoughts in check
As if you should never do unto others, anything at all
As if you can always find a reason, to keep every heartbeat small

As if the dictatorship of others is not the democracy of ours
As if "cultural differences" is enough to keep it out
As if Rome wasn't built in a day, and wiped out in a strike
As if history hasn't tought us anything but self-doubt
As if a few good men is enough to justify
A century of slavery, and every everyman's lie

As if the schoolgirls you teased and the schoolboys you hit
is built on disdain you have outgrown
As if there is no secret garden, as if no seed was ever sown
As if the monster under your bed
was just a fantasy of a child
As if you never to this day
sometimes want to run and hide

As if every little feeling
is as expendable as air
As if you feel your heart's desire
and you pretend that you don't care
As if you ever seek the answer
you might as well go hang yourself right now
As if you are nothing but a coward
afraid of every single "how"

As if you are not amazed
but too proud to swear alliance
Line up, well mannered and well raised
enter your chapel of science

11. Ties

Born the same year
sprung out in a time
where our mothers and fathers
saw the same things on the screen
read the same ink
saw the same weathers of the same days
breathed the same air
in close proximity
as you and me
are destined to too

we too, too, too
and had I been a bird I would sing that to you
too too too. . .

We laughed at jokes cracked
within walls
Upon their falling we had to part
Funny how you think you can plan ahead
but you never know anything at all

But it's alright somehow, I don't know why
I feel you in the air today
we are the same age as of today
and
We were young
together
We will grow old
apart
But when I think
of a time before I met you
Somehow, it's like you were there right from the start

And if that feeling rings a bell
you're probably going to be there by the end as well

too too too
the dark times are upon us
too too too
we live some empty lives
too too too
along these age of lonliness
too too too
we will always have our ties

too too too too
too too too too
too too
too too too too too
too too too too too

too too
too
too too
too too too
too

too.....

A SMASH OF FLESH AND BLOOD

A Barbed Heart/K29 Production
Written and Created by Fredrik Fyhr
the sleepless night of 3rd and early morning of 4th
of february 2009

© 2009