1. WHERE THE BUD CRACKS BLOOD FLOWS 2. PLATFORM FLASHBACKS 3. ACROSS THE WATER 4. THE THINGS THAT ONLY GLOW IN THE DARK 5. LIKE YESTERDAY 6. DID YOU COME HERE ALL BY YOURSELF? 7. SHATTERED REFLECTIONS 8. I SHALL SEARCH THROUGH DEEPER GROUNDS 9. PLEASE FUCK OFF 10. CHAPEL OF SCIENCE 11. TIES
The fog arrives upon a collision of ecchoes, heart to heart "We will never again be apart"
All the while, a vile monkey hammers on his stones collecting bones of feelings dead and gone
The fog arrives you are fast asleep but one of these nights those stones will ignite And the monkey will surpass you and your inventions to admire with the mere discovery of fire
*
The alarm goes off but you need a bell You need the stop to go to hell
Sun shines through a glass with melting honey around hovering grains of tea a beauty none of which are apparent in fluids spread across the dirty sink
You slept during the quake you should have died long ago but as the Ice Age melted away surely, ghosts too must someday..... as though banished vanish
*
Oh, the pain where did your lungs go, my friend? is that your heart or an exploding train?
The cargo: unlimited amounts of love
Market value: None
*
Be that angry fucker when the bell rings Just don't fall asleep
Be the wolf that does dirty deeds Just don't be the sheep
Take them home throw them out Hold your tounge Feel free to shout
Also; Get drunk, do drugs Why not?
*
Hide away the stars of yours and throw them in the face of everybody
The reason of madness is the only ally in war
Also; If you by chance happen to pass the wreck there might be one or two interesting things there to pick up
Beyond memorabilia and junkyard stuff, some of that junk still works
Trains intact rush by me I wonder to myself Yesterdays news, still bothering me No sleep last night No sleep the next night
Like a hold-up a knife against the throat of life Making this everyday grey concrete platform rumble Every strangers morning face bares a trace of this what you would call my situation
"A situation of shit" is the line I'd tell you Behind the walls of my skull though small creatures jump around laughing in shadows that came from nowhere
I hold a paper cup against my lips a winter's chill across my face a taste of coffee a taste of nothing but hot while I mumble fuck it, for it is all I have to say
One touch, one word anything from anyone and I'll explode right here and now
Nothing happens though it's all very quiet Clouds across a blue sky Crows hopping on crunching concrete Men and women in coats Children talking A buzz from the city afar I take a breath
Somewhere there is a knife by the throat of life will the Situation Man slice the flesh and kill me off or will he simply not
My train arrives these were the things in my mind this morning, deceptively casual
Tonight I stand looking across the water for there is where she lives yes for no other reason I am her handsome stalker though I cannot see a thing
Once these hands they held a heart pounding for the palms and fingertips but it slipped and to the ground it fell apart for my eyes happened to catch a glimpse
of something else something came flashing by vanished without a trace my eyes kept looking and the heart slipped
Call it if you will an explanation there will never be an excuse To take heat and make it chill I can think of no greater abuse
I know the price of restless yearning and the pain of ties that bind I know the dangers, close and burning and all the waste they leave behind
Tonight I stand looking across the water for there is where she lives I don't dream of her and I don't pretend she's here I don't think of anything
Tonght I stand looking across the water for through the abyss she will climb For she asked me for fire and I said that's just a lighter we just shared a smoke and we both smiled
Oh it's one of those nights all lay silent but the shadowlands rumble
all the things you've hidden so well emerge into a fog carving out the shadow of an old friend
standing in the mirror, staring back a friend of yours, so close the silence is the attack and the memory of those you've left behind "i'm sorry, i was blind"
Oh the night time show it's out of control and a memory of daylight
reminds you of control the madness and the power to say no yes, you can always seize the day but in the night time play, there is a role
you are to swim with every silent shark in a pool of things that can only glow in the dark
Do you ever think of the guy that broke your heart? He was all blonde and fancy drove a big sports car
And did you ever really feel me When I held you close, just to feel free
Look how time it flies clouds across the skies who knows where the truth lies
You were happy to be my closer friend And I thought I'd love you until life's end
Last night I saw you in a magazine you spoke of people you still carry within
You didn't mention me But I suppose I shouldn't be feeling misery I read your diary Back when you were all for free Handed on to me By yourself and every single need in everything you see
We came to an end My dearest schoolyard friend
And now you don't remember me Your flower and my bee No, not a single line And now I don't remember you It seems all I can see is when you tried to look cool just as cool as you could be with your eyes deep into mine
And when I think of how your hair fell in the way it still feels like yesterday
You said you would stay home every weekend because your mother always told you to You said you would never trust any words of love because you always thought your father would beat you You said you'd never cheat or steal or lie because you were frightened of the bars of your very cradle You said you'd never win or loose or cry because you were tought to stay out of anything remotely fatal
I said I'm not sure what I'll be doing this saturday because I've got no plans and well, I'm just not sure I said I've kissed one or two girls on Valentine's Day but I've never seen lips like yours before I said don't think I'm saying it because of any secret plan because I've seen enough in life to be honest I just had to let you know, and be sure it's really your call and just maybe you would like a word of fondness
So when I heard the silent sound of gravel at my window and when I saw you standing by my street, below my balcony I had to laugh a bit because I wasn't really sure that you've actually come here tonight to see me I'm sorry, didn't mean to be rude and sure enough you're welcome, make yourself at home And not that you're feet aren't working, they're okay I presume but did you really get here all on your own?
With a glass of wine, strolling around my bookshelf I wonder, did you really come here all by yourself?
As a child I often thought any life worth living is a dream within this world of mine
Fantasy, thy Kingdom in Bloom along the Gloom of Reality along came the wind of seldom felt serenity washed away any last traces of who I'd want to be left the lonliness of a century now, is this all I will ever be?
Love, a terminator, a wrath of a God reigning inside of me Upon the crack where dreams hit truth dead-eye flipping the mirror showing me stripped of any lie
Fuck you I love you! You are my reason in life You are my saviour from death You are my freedom I long for your chains I love you, I want to die for you! I hate you, I want to die because of you.....
and please, my captain, I am clearly developing unapropriate signs of seasickness
This whirlpool and endlessly circulating sphere Is this all I will ever be? Is it but all it's over! and over and over and over and over again
I'm mirrored in a love of glass and upon every fixed piece the reflection is less accurate You saved my life though I am barely alive
Man overboard I think I'm going down in this sea of tears, filled up when the storm raged upon the sun gone black and me disappearing from your heart as if you clicked a lightswitch
Use your love and lie to me tonight Build me a cyborg in your flesh send her here designed to protect me
These waters carry animals once you were diving with me with the dolphins and the jealous mermaids
But if you cannot save me now you will have to see me die and face their wrath
So down we go over and over and over and over
and as a child I used to sail across love's waters in wonderous ocean storms Waterwounds leak from my soul And the face in the mirror is not quite me or is this all I will ever be?
Look around all you see is grey grey grey grey grey grey pavements and the rooftops are falling down upon the skyline it seems like it will never come to a dream to be alive as long as you're not asleep and don't you know, I'm a part of it aswell as you are to be sure, grey grey grey grey heavy pressing down the core which is one hundred of a hundred filled with truth but then again piercing through the landscape of god and the creation is a vast spectre of colors all the way from black to white but the core is but the core and from afar it's just this grey grey grey grey beach of february melted snow and dead canaries a dream of sun and a dream of life and a dream of a life without the strife of living life, in a prozac driven landscape as far as souls are concerned and look at them they're throwing stones and no wonder the frustration is enormous screaming your lungs empty at a square by all the homeless bums the hunger is endless but the steeringhweel is armless it goes round and round and the ship will hit the iceberg any minute now and what about me, i can but frown i am not throwing any single rock though i see plainly through the glass windows i'm laughing life in it's face i'm a troll in the beard of marx see me tying together the shoelaces of lenin and i'm throwing this here pie in the face of bakunin oh i'm an anarchist to be sure - all this romance i've been throwing in a toilet of reality, this is my final contact ad since i found out the truth of myself if you please, i'd like to be, it's my only real interest and i don't give a shit for living if that is what you'd call it i'm going souling with my heart i'm going minding with my head and if you want a hand to caress your soul mine is clearly the best on the market but i guess you better stay away i'm bound to suck the life out of any modern human being in grey grey grey plain sight, i was sitting on a couch when i was something like eleven and staring at the kids they were dancing but the sofa was way more fascinating then the motherfucking dancefloor, enjoying a soda and one or two good songs and if for one damn reason something would take me out the dancefloor you'd better get it was for no other reason than to get a little luck, carnevour lusts and downright seduction i was an eleven year old velociraptor trying to cover up a t-rex but the girls eyes oh man i finally saw my own reflection there and within the crack of my existance and the rip of separation and the thrust of disintegration i did understand that i'm even closer to nothing than i could ever quite imagine and my market value is pretty god damn close to zero but i don't give a shit and i pity all of these people just can't decide if it's me or anybody who's the most rotten to the core and if you get a little hard then these lines are all i've got 'cause you see me on the street you'll see the human shape form of a lie of a lie of a lie of a lie in a grey grey grey grey grey grey day yeah a dead representation of something else that may not rescue anybody but it will strike upon the prozac world and live live live live finnaly live for once and if you wanna beat the shit out of me than go ahead i could die tomorrow or in an hour does it look like i fucking care, it's the only real thing the only actual forsurething and why not it's quite the satisfying idea my only real belief is my belief of a certain death and it's what we've all been looking for the freedom we have not find yet and i'm not even saying i'm alone in this quest i want death for everybody, see the world fucking explode and the sun burn through the ozon and put the world on fire because mother earth does deserve better let me see the unquestionable truth and the sweet hard judge of justice it would be my honor i'd stand straight with my back and my face turned to the skies and in flames i'd be devoured by a fire so proud to have been a human, a questionable entity a fool on two legs but fool as i am i'd be proud to be a part of a race deserving death
Or let me just light a candle silently burning, while I've planted a bomb in my past
A new morning is recognisable by a certain pain in your eyes of a new kind of light
One day you will find that all it will be said and done You must slip out your skin when you need to peel off truths old enough to be lies and the dirt of your sins When it's all been said and done listen for new sounds leading you elsewhere
Don't be afraid, you will always find them when the time is right And don't worry they are always punctual
Break apart the hard ground find the soil again Your sea is wider Your caves are deeper Your sky is higher Soon enough your entire landscape will appear new before your eyes
You don't know how it happened You wonder when But until the next end it has begun again
As if you would never fight a war As if you would never find a cause As if you could never praise the dawn As if you should never seek a God As if you've got the answer to it all
As if you would never fall for treason as if you'd never hide from it As if you'd never find a reason and then die for it As if mere survival is the meaning of life As if the chance of a lifetime is built on strife As if you wouldn't kneel, as if you can laugh it out and take a piss on it if you please as if this is your right
As if you aren't at the mercy of the vast unknown As if you never thought of dying, and as if you were never born As if there are no doors and no keys to be found As if it matters if the Earth is flat or round As if you are the masters of the Universe, a word you've named as if your big bang blasted out a map and a frame
As if you shake your head and say "let's be adult" As if they take their pride and spit you in the face as if this is not your fault As if anything you ever say or do could give any comfort or truth As if everything ever written or sung, is but your chimney's black soot As if knowledge isn't nothing but an Earthly vain As if you find your soul in little works of the brain As if no greater forces could frighten you, as if you just don't hear any signs of wonder and then build your life on fear
As if you would never end up doing what you never thought you'd do As if you would never face a mirror and be forced to see the truth As if you could map it all out and work it step by step As if you could always be in control, and keep your thoughts in check As if you should never do unto others, anything at all As if you can always find a reason, to keep every heartbeat small
As if the dictatorship of others is not the democracy of ours As if "cultural differences" is enough to keep it out As if Rome wasn't built in a day, and wiped out in a strike As if history hasn't tought us anything but self-doubt As if a few good men is enough to justify A century of slavery, and every everyman's lie
As if the schoolgirls you teased and the schoolboys you hit is built on disdain you have outgrown As if there is no secret garden, as if no seed was ever sown As if the monster under your bed was just a fantasy of a child As if you never to this day sometimes want to run and hide
As if every little feeling is as expendable as air As if you feel your heart's desire and you pretend that you don't care As if you ever seek the answer you might as well go hang yourself right now As if you are nothing but a coward afraid of every single "how"
As if you are not amazed but too proud to swear alliance Line up, well mannered and well raised enter your chapel of science
Born the same year sprung out in a time where our mothers and fathers saw the same things on the screen read the same ink saw the same weathers of the same days breathed the same air in close proximity as you and me are destined to too
we too, too, too and had I been a bird I would sing that to you too too too. . .
We laughed at jokes cracked within walls Upon their falling we had to part Funny how you think you can plan ahead but you never know anything at all
But it's alright somehow, I don't know why I feel you in the air today we are the same age as of today and We were young together We will grow old apart But when I think of a time before I met you Somehow, it's like you were there right from the start
And if that feeling rings a bell you're probably going to be there by the end as well
too too too the dark times are upon us too too too we live some empty lives too too too along these age of lonliness too too too we will always have our ties
too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too
too too too too too too too too too
too.....
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
A SMASH OF FLESH AND BLOOD
A Barbed Heart/K29 Production
Written and Created by Fredrik Fyhr
the sleepless night of 3rd and early morning of 4th
of february 2009
